Fiction

Last Call on the Riverboat

Sam Wilde's last hurrah on the Sexarium riverboat. He’s charming, he’s drunk, and something's definitely going down before the final dock.

Last Call on the Riverboat

Perfume ads, for all their wind-swept hair and glistening clavicles, rarely account for the logistical complications of two grown adults, their respective knee issues, and the precise timing of a shared Wednesday evening. You see a certain feral abandon in those thirty-second spots, a spontaneous combustion of desire sparked by a mere spritz, but reality tends to introduce variables like a shared Google Calendar, the lingering scent of last night’s takeout, and the existential dread of a Monday morning meeting that starts at 8 AM. The promise is a surge, a primal instinct; the reality is often a negotiation, a carefully choreographed sequence of events that feels less like a tempest and more like assembling flat-pack furniture.


The air on the riverboat, thick with the scent of cheap beer and the metallic tang of the Hudson, did little to evoke the passionate embrace of any commercial. It was late, past eleven, and the DJ, a man whose primary skill seemed to be a dogged refusal to play anything remotely current, was winding down. Eleanor leaned against the railing, the vibration of the engine a dull thrum beneath her palms, watching the blurry lights of the Manhattan skyline recede. She’d come for her cousin’s engagement party, a predictably boisterous affair that had devolved, as most family gatherings do, into a series of increasingly pointed questions about her own marital status.

“Still here?” Leo’s voice, a low rumble, materialized beside her. He held two plastic cups, amber liquid sloshing gently. “Thought you’d have made your escape by now.”

Eleanor took a cup, the ice cubes clinking a brief, pathetic symphony. “And miss the riveting spectacle of Aunt Carol’s rendition of the Macarena?” She took a sip. It was lukewarm whiskey-cola, exactly what she’d expected. “I was waiting for my ride. He just texted. Running late, naturally.”

Leo chuckled, a dry, warm sound. He was a friend of her cousin’s fiancé, a structural engineer with a disconcerting ability to quote obscure poetry. Tonight, he wore a slightly-too-tight linen shirt, and his dark hair, usually meticulously combed, had started to fray at the temples. “The allure of a late-night ferry. Nothing quite like it.” He leaned closer, his voice dropping. “She’s still badgering you, isn’t she? About the lack of a suitable male specimen in your life.”

Eleanor sighed, tracing the condensation on her cup. “It’s a specific kind of familial pressure. They don’t just want me to be happy; they want me to be happy within very strict, historically approved parameters.” She glanced at him. “What about you? Dodged the bullet?”

He shrugged, a wry twist to his lips. “I’ve found that a well-placed anecdote about a particularly demanding bridge construction project usually buys me a good thirty minutes of peace.” He paused, looking out at the inky water. “It’s funny, isn’t it? The sheer effort required to maintain a certain illusion of normalcy, especially when the underlying current is anything but.”

The boat lurched slightly as it turned, and Eleanor stumbled, her hand finding Leo’s arm to steady herself. His skin was warm, unexpectedly so. She didn’t pull away immediately. The music had stopped, replaced by the mechanical groan of the engines and the distant murmur of the remaining guests.

“Last call,” a disembodied voice boomed over the intercom, muffled and distorted. “Final boarding for the return trip to Pier 81.”

They stood there for a moment, the silence between them thick with the unspoken. The air, despite the river, felt suddenly charged, the kind of humid stillness before a summer storm. Eleanor could smell the faint scent of his cologne, something woody and understated, mixed with the river air.

“So,” Leo said, his gaze fixed somewhere beyond her, on the distant shore. “Your ride. Still late?”

Eleanor looked at her phon

Related reading: The Train Car at Dawn · The Parisian Atelier: late-night sketches, a forbidden muse · The Handwritten Note e. No new texts. Just the blinking cursor of her own unread message. “Predictably.” The word hung in the air, a small, inconsequential fact.

He turned to her then, his eyes, dark in the dim light, holding hers. There was a directness there, a question that wasn’t spoken, but was undeniably present. The boat shuddered again, a low, guttural sound, as if sighing.

“It’s almost like,” she began, then hesitated, a small, wry smile playing on her lips, “the universe is suggesting a different itinerary.”

He returned her smile, a slow, unfolding thing that reached his eyes. “Perhaps the universe has a better sense of timing than our various transport providers.” He took her hand, his fingers warm and firm around hers. “Or at least, a better sense of drama.”

The lights of the pier were growing closer now, a beacon in the dark. The finality of the evening, the closing of the bar, the dwindling crowd—it all conspired to create a singular, intense moment. No soaring violins, no wind machines, just the rhythmic churn of the boat and the quiet hum of unspoken possibilities.

“Come on,” he said, gently pulling her towards the gangplank. “Let’s see where the tide takes us.”

And as they stepped off the boat, onto the solid, slightly swaying ground of the pier, Eleanor felt a curious sense of lightness. It wasn’t the grand gesture of a sweeping romance, nor the carefully curated perfection of a commercial. It was just two people, at the very end of an unremarkable evening, deciding, quite spontaneously, to keep talking. The kind of spontaneity, it turned out, that sometimes even the most meticulously planned calendars couldn’t quite predict.

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